It’s here! Ten months since Lucy Beale’s body went cold we’re finally going to find out who murdered her – well it is EastEnders’ 30th anniversary after all.

Not only that, this hour-long special (the first of two episodes tonight) was splattered with those super-tense live scenes where we’re all waiting for the actors to fluff their lines. Needless to say, the anticipation could hardly be contained in 140 characters.

But these live episodes have left a few viewers slightly sceptical – especially after Jo Joyner (who plays Tanya) recently referred to Adam Woodyatt (Ian) by his real name.

It was all nostalgia in the first scene, as the producers recreated a perfect replica of the first ever EastEnders episode 30 years ago. Remember? When Dirty Den et al bust into old Reg Cox’s flat to find his putrefying corpse?

Except this time the corpse was Nasty Nick Cotton. Dot’s wayward son had taken a heroin overdose and his long-suffering mother had let him die. (And to be honest, absolutely no one in Britain was blaming her.)

Next, we all remembered why we were really here, with some some super-confusing speculation at the Beale residence. Who really did kill Lucy?

There was also speculation from the media.

And there was even wilder speculation from the conspiracy theorists.

Meanwhile some of the younger cast members got to show off their talents as they dragged the entire community into the question of what to do with Nasty Nick’s rotting corpse.

However, we all still have some reservations over this new guy who’s playing Martin.

No such criticism for Jacqueline Jossa though. She’s the second actress to play Lauren Branning, and she’s been nothing if not committed.

Ian seemed to be a prime suspect in his daughter’s murder. (Actually Twitter’s prime suspect was her eight-year-old brother Bobby, but we’ll brush over that).

Meanwhile June Brown gave an acting masterclass as Dot, who we don’t think we’ve ever seen as shell-shocked as this by her son Nick’s actions.

Of course, considering all he’s put her through over 30 years, we’re not sure he deserves any of his mother’s tears.

Thankfully this trifling overdose subplot was soon replaced by A LIVE SCENE STARRING TANYA! A nation held its breath as Jo successfully traversed an emotional scene with on-screen hubby Max in the caff.

Some viewers had some serious issues with the wildly-swinging plot, as EastEnders tried to get everything they could into the anniversary show. Now they’re in the Square, then in Ian’s house, then in the Queen Vic…

And talking of the Queen Vic.

Actually let’s take a break from the baffling plot for a few more Walford trivia vignettes.

Phew, just as we thought we could settle into some old-fashioned whodunnit, another subplot erupted. Denise shouted at her preggers sister Kim, and now that bun was powering its way out of the oven!

But forget that, because drunk Kat Slater marched into the Vic and slammed Sonia’s face in a cake! Wow…

Without a shred of remorse, Walford’s favourite tart-with-a-heart messily retired to one of the Square’s trademark benches. She was here encountered by those young corpse-concealing hoodlums from earlier.

Then there was a very vocal labour scene in the Queen Vic’s toilets, where everybody was oddly reluctant to admit what was happening.

EastEnders’ dedication to a screaming birth scene hasn’t dwindled over three decades – and lots of this one were live!

Then something happened that actually made us all forget about the “who killed Lucy” thing for a bit. She was supposed to have died in South Africa years ago, but out of a black cab in front of Phil Mitchell stepped… Kathy.

Which naturally prompted everyone on Twitter to start suggesting who else they wanted to see return.

If Robbie’s coming home, can we also suggest Wellard turns up too?

Meanwhile, back in the Vic, nasty Dean Wicks was threatening to burn the place down.

But don’t worry, Mick “Danny F*****g Dyer” Carter was on hand to protect his precious pub. And slowly choke the life out of Dean with a boot to the throat.

Thankfully, Mick’s daughter Nancy was on hand to smack her dad over the back with a palette – thus saving unconscious Dean’s wretched life. Boo!

And finally, after almost a full hour of semi-live pantomime nonsense, Ian finally picked up the phone to who he thought was Lucy’s murderer. “I know you killed Lucy” announced the grim-faced Beale patriarch. Get everyone else out of the house (whoever you are), Ian’s a-coming.

The doof doof was a classic. Ian standing in his living room. “Tell me exactly what happened that night” he said. And the camera cut to… Jane!

That’s right, the conspiracy theories haven’t ended yet. There’s still another half hour of Walford’s finger-pointing to come.